Turquoise

Tonight by P.S.Eliot

2009-10-22T17:48:00.000-07:00

TONIGHT

i said just go again

maybe i'm too ambiguous, supreme subject of your distress

and its not so hard to be aloof

brain on my sleeve, this abrupt mess that i get into

we go on all the time

maybe its hard today but its still better than the rest

when we're both so far away

i'm stuck with a depleted brain or a heart repressed

and i wish you were here with me

cause i'd hide behind you shamelessly

at least tonight

i said just stay a while

maybe you appear stoic or more stable than i could admit

florescent margins, we're born on edge

formally brain dead

we reside behind, forget ahead

you won't, you won't, you'll never say

what you're thinking about most everyday

and your function masks your sentiment

your laugh conceals your discontent

via

OBAMA Monday

2008-11-04T21:31:00.000-08:00

It's been a while and it will be a while because I have alot of schoolwork, and now I am on tumblr. my 2 new webblogs are:
The Secret Life of Daydreams & eighteen.

ok now for my Obama post:

I am speechless so all I can do is yell and say:

OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMAOBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA OBAMA

Ok now to speak of my intense sadness that I am not in VA right now to run down broad street and yell and scream the man who will lead us in a positive direction in these coming years.

Peace and YES WE CAN!!

Status Saturday

2008-10-25T13:30:00.000-07:00

I know. I know. I'm slacking. But really in school. I'm home now. I took a train yesterday from there to here. I didn't like it. At first it was cool with no one on the train, but then at DC a whole shitload of people got on and the lady next to me was on the phone the WHOLE TIME I wasn't feelin that. I was trying to relax.

In the last week I have been having revaltions as well as freaking out. I have SOO much studying to do for my tests and I'm at my wit's end.

The library had a sale on books so I bought a ton. I am starting to read the. I am happy about that.

I have to go read my Socio book chapters for my test on Monday that I am not really prepared for yet.

Peace

Mad Monday

2008-10-14T00:30:00.000-07:00

I have homework. Alot of it. :(

At least I only have 3 days of classes this week, and then I have "fall break". Most people are going home, but I have a concert to go to on Sunday, so I'm gonna stay and chill with people. It'll be great with everyone gone and such.

HEROES was so flippin confusing today. But to touch on one point I passionately believe, I think the writers are leaving and left alot of open ends because the whole thing with Silar suddenly having an ability, that being a intense hunger for more abilities?!? COME ON. I think he was always evil, and they just didnt want to leave him out to dry like that because he would end up being killed. I think that Mohinder is going to be a prominent villlain as well. I also think that bringing back Linderman and Matt's father was a loose end to tie up as well. I think they are going to keep the eldest Petrelli a mystery because he has imense power over Matt's dad, someone who showed himself to be so powerful and merciless in the past. I think the puppet man is creepy, and Claire's mom better not die so soon. I want them to reveal the powers of more of the villains, but I have a feeling they were stuck and running out of powers that people have. I also think that they should bring back Micah's cousin [I forget her name] because I think her power is really cool and they could shape it in SOO many ways.

I'm gonna stop ranting now. More of my Heroes crap later.

Peace.

Sleepy Sunday

2008-10-13T01:09:00.000-07:00

I am not tired. I slept 10 hours today, and 9 hours yesterday. I had some banging dreams. They were great. I wanna have more now so I'm gonna go to sleep. I have found a piano that I have access to for free at the Performing Arts building, so you now know where you can find me 90% of the time. I stayed at the library until 1:40AM then I went to the PA building until 2:30AM then I went home, ate and now I am typing to you.

I have been trying to learn Raindrops Prelude by Chopin [one of my fav songs ever] and it is not easy when I dont have my computer and the sheet music at the same time. I had the sheet music today and I have the first measure [I think that's what it's called] but I have to hear it and see it on the paper to understand what it should sound like, and how long a pause I should take in between notes, and how they should sound. I still can't sight-read [it doesn't help that I don't actually have a piano with me every day] and I have to write the letter I should play above the note. I will get better now that I can play on a regular basis. I need to focus more on my studies and the things I am trying to achieve this year than hanging out with people and partying. It really hit home when I actually realized that I have a C in a class because of a test that I took. That's not acceptable AT ALL. and I need to get at least 95's on the other 2 tests, and A's on the other 2 papers. I still don't have the grade, but thenagain I haven't checked yet. I really don't want to .

Enough typing. it's 4:30AM and I have class at noon :(

Peace

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-10-09T21:24:00.000-07:00

I wrote a poem after reading Jamie Tworkowski's blogs on MySpace. I was moved to tears. He is a beautiful person who started To Write Love On Her Arms [TWLOHA]. You should check his blog out. He is an amazing writer. I wrote this after reading some of the things he wrote that inspired me.

Solace Knew

Solace is knocking on my door.
I don't want it.
I won't let it in.
I need to live this.
I need to leave this.
I need to make it through.
Like the waves that roll to and from the shore,
my pain comes and goes; with hatred and anger
like the seafoam that manifests after the wave is gone.
I have to make it through this trial with no cause.
I have to make it through on my own.
The beauty of your smile will not save my soul.
It has to repair itself.
Remember, you must love yourself before you can be loved.
I will be more honest than I ever have:
I can look in the mirror, into my own eyes
and say with all sincerity
"I do not look at this face,
in these eyes and see beauty.
I do not see potential,
or the possibility to be loved.
There is no light"
This sad prospect may line your eyes with tears.
This horrid truth may flip your world upside down.
And turn that smile to a frown and make the blood rush from your head.
But you know me.
You love me.
I don't love me.
And that's what truly counts.
You and I both know there is nothing in the world
that you can do to change what is set in a stubborn heart.
Just know. . . Just know. . .
that with sorrow seeping into my soul like smoke blackening my lungs; leaving a stench on my clothes
and in my hair, that I love you and always will.
You can smell that smoke.
You know.
I don't blame you, I never did.
But you act as though
you are the only one
who can smell smoke.
I can't go out in public
poisoning people with a frown
like secondhand smoke.
You are solace.
You keep knocking.
And I won't answer.

Willful Wednesday

2008-10-08T14:43:00.000-07:00

I have to study. I have been using my time messing around, when I haven't read further than the first chapter in most books that I have to read. I have been having another breakdown. This is one of the worst I've had in a few years. The last really really bad one was 05-06. I had a little one in late 07. But I think I just need to find my way back to the right path with God guiding my spirit. I'll get their. I just need prayer. Lots of it. I am emotionally fragile now I guess.

I don't think that I was made for this time, and this life. I have this underlying feeling that I was placed in the wrong time, the wrong setting, the wrong way. But everything happens for a reason so I'll let that reason explain itself to me. Enough of my bull. Have a happy day!!

Peace

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-10-07T17:07:00.000-07:00

I have been listening to classical nonstop this week [I watched parts of The New World, and Pride & Prejudice, so. . .]
Q'Orianka Kilcher from The New World was amazing in that movie and I love the work she has been doing to bring justice to those harming the environment and innocent people. I will post up 2 of her speeches. In the first she is reading an essay of a woman whose brother died in the World Trade Center, and the other is a Native American man, Chief Joseph who wrote about how the white people negatively affected his and his people's lives.

Q'Orianka Kilcher reads Rita Lasar
Q'Orianka Kilcher reads Chief Joseph

My Tunes for Tuesday are:

1. Vorspiel: Das Rheingold by Richard Wagner
[The first link ^ is for the song played at the end, this link is for the song at the beginning of The New World]
2. Liz on Top of the World by Dario Marianelli
3. Mrs. Darcy by Dario Marianelli
4. Raindrops Prelude by Chopin
5. Opus 17 by Dustin O'Halloran
6. Opus 23 by Dustin O'Halloran
7. Opus 36 by Dustin O'Halloran
8. Avril 14th by Aphex Twin
9. Prelude 2 by Dustin O'Halloran
10. Opus 14 by Dustin O'Halloran
11. The Secret Life of Daydreams by Dario Marianelli

And my top 3 albums are:

1. Pride & Prejudice by Dario Marianelli

2. The New World by James Horner

3. Spanglish by Hans Zimmer

Manic Monday

2008-10-06T14:27:00.000-07:00

I like that song [It's by Relient K].
I saw parts of The New World again today. I love that movie. It is one of my favorites along with Pride & Prejudice [My favorite movie EVER], Poppy Shakespeare, Marie Antoinette, Children of Men, etc. Ok enough about that. I have some video links for those of you who love to cry, period movies, and classical music as much as I do [not the crying part, but this shit is sad].

The New World end; Richard Wagner - Vorspiel

The New World beginning; Richard Wagner - Vorspiel

The New World Scenes; Raindrops Prelude by Chopin

Bell X1 - Eve, The Apple of My Eye

Pride and Prejudice; Your Hands Are Cold - Dario Marianelli

Pride and Prejudice; Liz on Top of the World - Dario Marianelli

That's it for now more later. But I love all these videos. I have Heroes to watch. :)

Peace.

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-10-02T19:43:00.000-07:00

I saw the hottest nerd I have EVER seen in my life on the bus today. It was an amazing experience that will hopefully happen again so I can give him my number, and we can make a chocolate-vanilla swirl of nerdiness. :D.

So… I’m done my schphiel [don’t know how to spell that but I know how it sounds to spell] for today.

Peace

P.S. I just found out it’s spelled sphiel. I was close.

WTF Wednesday

2008-10-01T18:38:00.000-07:00

What is it with people and the fascination with getting "fucked up"/ and or drunk?

OK anyways. I'm watching Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay. lmmfao

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-09-30T19:32:00.000-07:00

I missed class by accident today. I am sad. I liked that class. Dammit. Oh well. There are many more where that came. I saw Street Kings today. I really liked it, only I didn't like how Chris Evans' character died. He was about to get married!! OK anyways. . .

My Tunes for Tuesday are:

1. Big Casino by Jimmy Eat World
2. Eve, the Apple of My Eye by Bell X1 [a beautifully gorgeous poetic song]
3. Walcott by Vampire Weekend [makes me wanna dance, I love the cello part]
4. Oh Girl by The Chi-Lites
5. Just Like Honey by Mariah Carey
6. If I Was Your Girlfriend by Nicole Wray
7. Keep Ya Head Up by Tupac [I LOVE these lyrics]
8. Walking With A Ghost by Tegan and Sara
9. Bright Lights by Matchbox Twenty
10. Stolen by Dashboard Confessional [SOOOO sweet ♥ ♥ ♥]
11. Rock the Casbah (remix) by Solar Twins [LOVE THIS SONG ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥]

My top 3 album covers are:

1. More Than You Think You Are by Matchbox Twenty

2. Solar Twins by Solar Twins

3. On a Clear Day by Missy Higgins

Musical Monday

2008-09-29T22:14:00.000-07:00

I am feeling very musical today because I have almost fully gotten my voice back. I forgot to point out that 1-2 days ago 2 people on the floor above me got shot down at the main campus. They were right by the main gym and the rite aid and a guy tried to rob them and they tryed to take the gun and one guy got shot in the neck [clavicle] and another guy got shot in the leg. I was supposed to go visit them, but I haven't. I will make him a card eventually cause we talked a couple times. I have a poem to put out there. It's called 'You Already Know'

There is no escape
follow the catching sun
forever's not so long

watch the floating embers
you already know
how it ends

catch the souls
the captured souls
hold life to your breast

come along, it's time to go
now you've seeen his fate
and you know that there's a price
in the sun

for all that you've done
you've always wanted to believe
acknowledge the basis.

They don't love you like I love you.
Wait.

I think it's OK

Peace.

Statistical Saturday

2008-09-28T01:25:00.000-07:00

I's still dwelling on the fact that I have to take a lot of Stats classes.
Oh well. I'll get over it.

I had a Monster energy drink earlier (32 Oz :D) and I had the same effect on me that my Concerta does for my ADD. So needless to say I will get MORE MORE MORE. I will just drink less less less.

I washed all my dirty clothes today. This is the first time I have washed clothes since I have been here. It has been a month and a half. I have been reduced to wearing sweats and boxers around. LMAO.

Me and a friend are going to start a literary group here probably, because we both like to write and there have to be other cool people who would like to share ideas and their work.

I have been addicted to a site called deviantART.com. It's great and has all kinds of stuff on there. I am going to submit prose shortly. I am under that name Tucoaz-Pirus. So look me up!!!

I watched Harold and Kumar go to the White Castle today. It was freaking hilarious. I am going to watch Harold and Kumar Escape to Guantanamo Bay when it is returned to the machine which is hopefully soon.

Monster has also created a MONSTER in me and has given me this freakishly strong urge to smoke. I will smoke hookah outside with the other people the next time they do. A ton of my friends have tried it and said they liked it and I have always wanted to. I have this freakish urge to smoke either Natural American Spirit Periques, Camel No. 9, Camel Crush, Marlboro Menthol Smooth, and L&M Cran Grape and Strawberry. The moral of the story is PEOPLE NOT JUST KIDS, DON'T SMOKE IT WILL KILL YOU!!!!

It is 4:30AM where I am so I'm gonna call it a night.

Peace.

Flippin Friday

2008-09-26T23:27:00.000-07:00

I keep skipping days!!! And I have so much to say. Got DAMMIT!!!
Ok well anyways, today I went to see a free school run show called Black Comedy. It was hilarious and I loved it. I want to take a theater class. I like to sing and I'm pretty good I guess so why not put it to use? The plot was based in Europe and it starts in pitch black with the characters as if in their world the lights are on. Then they have some electrical problem and the lights go out in their world while our lights turn on. It was very entertaining, and I am taking a friend of mine to see it again when it plays on Sunday.

I have been writing a WHOLE lot. I just feel more relaxed and better in general when I write. I went to see my advisor today and she told me about a shitload of other classes I have to do with my major that I REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY REALLY, with emphasis on the REALLY don't wanna take. Most of them include, and are not limited to math. I have to take not 1, not 2, but FUCKING 3!!!! Statistics based classes. I also have to take biology. Which I like in high school, but take note to the HIGH SCHOOL part. And from what the people who are taking it now are saying, they hate it. But then again I have been blessed enough to have some sort of different knowledge where i really dont have to do much but read and listen to lectures to do well on tests.

OK enough ranting. I have TONS OF SHITLOADS of laundry to do.

Tucoaz-Pirus

Peace.

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-09-23T12:56:00.001-07:00

In honor of missing a Tuesday I'm gonna add 5 more songs and 2 more album covers for today.
This week is R&B and Rap heavy. I noticed that. But these songs are catchy. lol

My Tunes for Tuesday are:

1. Baby by LL Cool J [I'm dancing right now :D]
2. Freakum Dress by Beyonce
3. O' Valencia by The Decemberists
4. Whatever You Like by T.I.
5. Please Excuse My Hands by Plies
6. Cookie Jar by Gym Class Heroes
7. That's What You Get by Paramore
8. Heaven Sent by Keyshia Cole
9. Mayonnaise by Smashing Pumpkins
10. The Day That Never Comes by Metallica
11. Whoa Oh! by Forever the Sickest Kids
12. How in the World by Family Force 5
13. D.A.N.C.E. by Justice
14. Creator by Santogold
15. Into the Galaxy by Midnight Juggernauts

My top 5 album covers are:

1. Dystopia by Midnight Juggernauts

2. B'Day by Beyonce

3. Aerial by Kate Bush

3. Mama Said Knock You Out by LL Cool J

5. Isn't Anything by My Bloody Valentine

Mystical Monday

2008-09-22T12:33:00.000-07:00

I have been slacking I know. Skipping days and what not. I have been busy. I went to a step show on Saturday. I should have done a post Step Show Saturday, but I didn't. I went to the club in Friday with no success. And I have 2 papers to do yesterday. Or I mean that were due today. I guess I consider that busy. I have been writing a lot lately. I have formed a few storylines that go as follows:

A girl and a boy. [more like a woman and a man but I digress]. They love each other but not in a way they know so they have to go through all the versions of their relationship together. They finally reach the right one at the end. (I would love for this one to be a movie I can see it all in my head).
A golden swan and a blue frog. Their parents have started a war over a looking glass that can tell the future but only when a certain person looks in it at a certain time will the looking glass show something. When a baby was born on a far away planet with the time and person on the lower back of it's neck is the name and time and location where a certain person will be able to see which of the two kingdoms will fall in the war. The two who are revealed to be able to see it are between, the swan princess, the frog prince, the friend, and the brother.
A entity of a woman who is hopelessly devoted to a man who is like smoke in the wind. Her heart breaks and mends itself with her interactions with him. She is a heartbroken soul who speaks in metaphors.
I great wise Oak or Willow tree tells the tale of a citadel that holds an hourglass that when turned over tells the secrets of a thousand whispers. The sand trickling down tells those stories of the past. She tells the story of a few of those whispers.
A trilogy. The books are named after elementals that rule over mass periods of time. [I guess I can do practically anything with that] But I have named the elementals Neve, Teneal, and Shea. Water, fire, and wind respectively. I have decided that the books will go in that order as well. The book of water will be a peaceful time with small character upsets and problems to fix. The book of fire will be a time of chaos and war that will not be resolved at the end. The book of wind will be the aftermath of the peace transitioning in to intergalactic war, and with the wind, cooling of and being remembered and avoided. It can be added to at any point.

Alright kids!!! It's time to use your I-M-A-G-I-N-A-T-I-O-N-S!!!!!!

Peace

Fearful Friday

2008-09-19T17:06:00.000-07:00

I am still sick dammit!!. I hate it because I was supposed to go to this party with new friends, but I friggin chicken won't have as much fun as if I was healthy. Oh well. I'll drink a Monster or two and make the best of it.

Not much drama has gone on with me, but a lot has around me. I choose to distance myself from people straight up because if I'm around people for too long then I get fucking annoyed with them. Don't you? I feel like a bad person when I tell people I'm not gonna chill with them for some bullshit reason when I should just say "I need time alone". But we all know that if I say that then people assume shit. I couldn't care less if people make asses of themselves, but when you make an ass of me that shit is a problem. Lol. That shit was weak. OK Anyways. . .

I finally got my absentee ballot. I'm gonna be real about it: I'm voting for BARACK OBAMA. I feel everyone is entitled to their own opinion so don't judge me for mine, but I think Obama is the better canidate. and the whole deal breaker for me was when I found out 1, that McCain cheated on his wife because that is some grimy shit and 2, when his VP has a teen daughter who is pregnant. I know that personal life "shouldn't be brought into politics" or whatever, but I think no matter how many times you say that the people in power bring their beliefs and intensions into politics.

I have a socy paper to write, so I'll most likely post tomorrow if I don't get too wasted, or sick.

Peace

Mainstream Monday

2008-09-15T15:06:00.000-07:00

I'm yet again in Socio class with people. Some things happened this weekend. Lol
There's a girl who used to be my friend until she started engaging in ho behavior and now I don't really like her because she's giving me attitude. But me not liking her doesn't matter to me so it's whatever. But if she busts a move it will be a problem. :) I want a banana berry smoothie from Camille's now but I still have half an hour left of class. The dude I've been chilling with is a writer type like myself.

He writes on tumblr.com which is a blog website like blogger.com, in case you don't know. I don't have much more I can think of to talk about, so . . .

Peace

Status Saturday

2008-09-13T11:05:00.000-07:00

I just want to go to another good ole party. Why the hell wont the shit work? I went to one. But it was all black people. Those kind scare me cuz that's how people get shot. I want a healthy mix of all kinds of people. With a whole bunch of white people they get shitfaced and I don't wanna deal with that either. Yesterday, or more realistically 1AM this morning I was drinking with some frat people and friends and it was fun, no one got fucked up, but fucked up people came and I was pissed. We had a vibe going, and one girl went to make out with one of the two guys in the room. Then shit got awkward for a second, and then a bunch of drunk people came back and were really fucking annoying.

All in all it was pretty tight, and I'm trying to go out again tonight. Hopefully all goes well. But I don't wanna drink completely. I wanna drink AND dance. So I gotta find black people, or at least people who act black. . . lmao.

Peace

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-09-11T15:13:00.001-07:00

I'm in class now with a dude. It's called Great Writers of the Mediterranean. BORING AS SHIT. I mean I love the reading we have to do and the teacher is very nice, but good God almighty it is so boring. Dude didn't belive me when I told him that there is a more boring class than Sociology [yesterday he came with me and this chick to class] but he has died and been proven wrong. lol. I haven't been listening for the last couple minutes, or taking notes [that's the dude's job for now].

Not much else to say, I just feel like I'm about to fall asleep. Gots to talk about more crushes tomorrow. Or Later today.
Probably Later today.

Peace

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-09-09T13:32:00.000-07:00

I still have no explanation for the last couple days so. . .
"The sun with light. And the taste of the way. . ."
-Christina

Wow. Way to be random.
PRIDE & PREJUDICE. Leo Africanus. Tomorrow I have some shit to post . Stories, ramblings, poems. Whatever. Good stuff I guess.

My Tunes for Tuesday are:

1. Thursday by Asobi Seksu [♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥]
2. Brighter Than Sunshine by Aqualung
3. Snowflakes by Angie Stone [This song reminds me of my childhood; dunno y :)]
4. Anonymous by Bobby Valentino
5. Audio Blood by The Matches [Summer 2007, Dew Tour, Warped Tour, reminisce ♥ . . .]
6. I Wanna Be Sedated by The Ramones
7. Now Behold the Lamb by Kirk Franklin
8. Hurt Me Soul by Lupe Fiasco [♥]
9. Take Me Out by Franz Ferdinand
10. Hide & Seek by Imogen Heap [♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥]

My top 3 albums are:

1. Speak For Yourself by Imogen Heap

2. La Foret by Xiu Xiu

3. Viva La Cobra! by Cobra Starship

Monday

2008-09-08T14:46:00.000-07:00

WOW. I have no comment because I REALLY ACTUALLY TRUTHFULLY thought that it was Monday. . . OK. I'm in class and I gotta listen so. . .

Peace

Major Mishap Monday.

2008-09-07T14:07:00.000-07:00

M- cubed!!!!!

I have fucked up by missing the last 2 days. No 3. . . I dunno but I feel bad for that. But I have been out nonstop the last couple days. I went to sleep at 4AM, 6AM, and 7AM the last couple nights so. . .

Not very much happened TO ME. lol. We went to a BLT [Boxers, Lingerie, Toga] party and I stayed for like 10 mins but left with a friend who didn't wanna stay. The next night we went to the same party but it was at capacity, so we went to 711 and ate nasty ass nachos, and tasty ass slurpees. I need a break from annoying shit. So I'm confining myself to my room to do work. I cant handle being around these people anymore, like I said before. There are exceptions, but I'm not gonna get into that shit. Yesterday I had mojitos with some people above me and They were good I did get a bit of a buzz, but my K friend got a gulp away from smashed. That shit was HILARIOUS. If only I had videos for you. . .

Peace.

Wild Wednesday

2008-09-03T21:08:00.000-07:00

Wow. . . I have a lot to talk about in a short time [I wanted to go to sleep at 9 and it's 12].
Ok so I will start with This morning. From about 1AM to 4AM. Again we played another round of truth or dare. This time it was with different people and alcohol. I'm not gonna name names [I never do] so I'll just list what each person did.

-Ran down the hallway in boxers and almost got written up for it. [LMMFAO]
-Made out for like ever and got really into it. [LMAO]
-Gave a random guy who wasn't even playing a lap dance. [Lmao]
-Drank a mix of Vitamin Water, milk, and lime juice. [eww!!!]
-Turned a simple but repulsive booty dance into a gross as shit front-front grind. [I'm gonna barf]
-sang a song without a voice THAT SHE WILL GET BACK SOON ENOUGH!!!
-And punked out and picked a bunch of truths.

Ok pretty standard not terribly sexual ToD game.

Then I had to tell this adorable SOOO sweet guy that I wasn't romantically attracted to him. To say the least it was awkward. but I [and he] got over it.

Umm. . . I'm tired so more tomorrow on Thoughts for Thursday.

Peace

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-09-02T09:54:00.000-07:00

My first couple weeks of school kinda sucked. I almost had to forfeit a class, I have been sick for over a week, and now some bitch wants to fight me. I'm dealing with all those as best I can. But I feel like I'm losing it and it's only the 3rd week of school!!! I need my bestest friends around to help. OK enough with my bullshit. Oh yea I let the guys draw me and it was OK. They were nice and cute and all, but I don't think they like the type of . . . person I am. lol. If only you knew what I was talking about. If you do know then do you understand my frustration? lol. Anyways.

My Tunes for Tuesday are:

1. When You Were Young by The Killers [♥]
2. Who Can I Run To? by Xscape
3. December by Hawthorne Heights
4. Too Much Booty in the Pants by 2 Live Crew [lmao]
5. Didja Know by Groove Theory [I couldn't find this so I'll post another of her songs]
6. To Zion by Lauryn Hill
7. Hoppipolla by Sigur Ros
8. Weak by SWV
9. Nightdrive With You by Anoraak [this kind of sounds like it]
10. Sending My Love by Zhane

My top 3 album covers are:

1. Takk by Sigur Ros

2. Pronounced Jah-Nay by Zhane

3. Nothing In My Way by Keane

P.S. I still have a lot of shit to get off my chest, so we'll talk tomorrow. . . Note: I am not happy about the shit I have to talk about. . . WHATEVER. It's 4AM and again I will not get much sleep. DAMMIT!!!

DAMMIT!!!!

DAMMMIT!!!!

DAMMMMIT!!!!

Missed Sunday Monday

2008-09-01T10:15:00.000-07:00

I got in at 4AM yesterday, technically today and there is no way I would post that late. . . lol jk I've done it before. Anyways, yesterday some illustration major hotties asked around for models to draw 10 times. My friends told them I would do it, and we made a bet that if she goes out with a guy I would do the modelling thing. So me and the other girl are gonna do it together, and I'm nervous. They originally wanted nude models, I said hell to the fucking no. So I'm gonna be either in a bra and underwear, or a bathing suit [same thing].

I think it'll end up to be fun, and they might actually be cool people to chill with. That's all for now!

OH wait nevermind. I gotta tell you how I got stopped by the cops for running in the streets. I was racing the guy I told you in the last post I kissed, and I of course won because I'm a fast sprinter. After we were done racing, people sitting outside the dorm building we were next to were kind of cheering or whatever or making noise, and then a cop came over and was like [I adopt an asshole deep man-voice when I quote him]

A-hole "were you guys running in the street?"
us "yea. we were racing and we didnt want to trip and bust our heads on the sidewalk"
A-hole "don't run in the street you could get hit"
us "we checked to see and there were no cars" [2 cars pass by with 30 seconds in between each]
A-hole "there is traffic tonight and you could have gotten hit. last week a had to respond to a call where a guy on a bike [note: on a bike] got his head splattered against the pavement"
[the guy on the bike cut the car off and got hit that's what happened]
us "ok"
A-hole "I could have written you a ticket for [hold on. I gotta take some time to remember this bullshit] . . .[oh yeah] intrusion of traffic."
us "ok"

End of conversation.

I really wanna know if "intrusion of traffic" actually exists as something you can get a ticket for.
Sorry I just think the whole thing was stupid. There's people out there buying alcohol for minors that end up getting alcohol poisoning and a whole bunch of other shit, but you're gonna stop me for running in the street at 1:30AM when there are absolutely no cars out.

Damn. I thought this post would be a short one. lol ok.

Peace

Status Sunday

2008-08-30T20:09:00.000-07:00

Now I am in my floor's kitchen cooking lasagna, fried chicken, and peas for some people [guys] we been playing cards with. While they watch a fucking movie. I don't care tho cause I'm hungry and I kinda am VERY attracted to one of the guys, and so is the girl I am cooking the food with.

The one I am kinda VERY attracted to. . . how do I say this. . . umm he is very well to hang with. I hope you can catch my drift. lol. It's OK for you to laugh at me for 5 seconds.

5
4
3
2
1

OK no more laughing. I was going to party today, but the guy who was supposed to take me bailed. >:(

[3 hours later]

I'm kinda pissed, cuz someone on the 6th floor who is kinda cute just told me that he came back from a party and was still wired and wanted to do something. DAMMIT. I'm going to a fucking party tomorrow. Yes, on the day of the Lord for you Christians out there. I've just been so damn bored.

Yesterday, though, I did kiss a cute boy, but it was only a dare. Turns out we have alot in common, and he is nice to talk to. Skip like 1000 steps and I met his parents and siblings today. Talk about AWKWARD. We [me, him, and 2 other ppl] were eating pizza on campus, and he said that his family had come to visit and brought him stuff he needed. He was going to branch off and chill with them while us other 3 went back to the dorm. But in the process of giving him my number so that he could hit us up when his family left, guess who walks up.

You guessed it. His family. I had his phone and talk about AWKWARD. He was so embarrassed he didn't even introduce anyone to anyone. I was so embarrassed that when I was done putting my number in I was like "RUN!!!" [not literally, but that's what my mind was screaming].

So just recently I finished watching TV/Movies with 2 sexy guys 3 floors up. It's 2:30AM and I'm tired, but happy cuz I really need a booty call soon. lol.

Not Even!!

Peace

P.S. But possibly :D

Freaky Friday

2008-08-29T21:18:00.000-07:00

So I have not been able to find any parties today [it's labor day weekend so everyone went home]. I'm so fucking pissed about that!!! I want to dance on some sexy dudes. OR make out with some hot frat boys. I haven't been to any frat parties, but I will soon

I started this on Friday, so . . . wow

Peace

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-08-28T18:56:00.000-07:00

I feel better today. I think it was my period fucking me up. I have a paper to write by tomorrow so . . . Until next time. . .

Peace

WTF Wednesday

2008-08-27T18:53:00.000-07:00

Is it bad to be all 'not care-ee, I wanna be alone' already? I mean I know myself pretty dam well and I don't get like that unless some shit is making me like that. I'm just really sick of most of the people I'm around. It may just be my bleeding-ness [PD], but I really think that it's just the whole situation I'm in. I gotta stop. But stop what? I'm not doing anything wrong. I'm just being me. And I'm so dam sick of the judgmental holier than thou people I am around now. JIGGAS PLAY TOO MUCH!! I need to branch. But branch where? Maybe I'm just a bit bipolar as it seems now. I must find some outlet. Someone I can trust. And for once I don't think that person is going to come in the form of a female. I am so used to confiding my deepest emotions to a chick from round the block that I've known and been through enough with to trust and feel completely comfortable around. But there is no such thing so far. I must do something to change that.

And I wonder as well why people look at me a certain way. Like as if a am a leper or something until they get to know me. I notice that, but maybe that is me being too observational. Too analytical. Who knows. I Wish I did. But I think way too much and I haven't found my niche or my outlet to let all that go. I love to sing, but all that does for me is make me happy, not release all the tension from within me. Maybe being sick , and not having a voice is doing this to me. I never realized how much I loved to talk and sing until it was taken away. It will be given back really soon hopefully, but I want it back SOOO badly. Not just my voice that makes me heard. But my internal voice that keeps me going, and makes me forget the bad and overlook the worse.

I really wish I could overlook the worst now. I am fine and content. But who desires to live with naught but contentment? I want to live with happiness. Self-love, and Self-acceptance. But when and how will that come? I need someone to show me that but who? I have a couple ideas, but they have been dreamed up and not realized. And the dreams that they are conjured in keep me stoic and the subject the proactive one. When will I just suck it up and become proactive?

WHEN?!?!?!? DAMMIT!!!!

Peace

P.S. for now

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-08-26T16:29:00.000-07:00

Wow. I almost smoked hookah today. It was very interesting. Anyways. . .

My Tunes for Tuesday are:

1. Gotta Go by Trey Songz
2. Circus by Kelis
3. Mystified by Rocco DeLuca and the Burden [weird video, but it's not the band's]
4. When Did Your Heart Go Missing? by Rooney [absolute love ♥ the song was made beautifully]
5. Dani California by The Red Hot Chili Peppers
6. Just a Moment by Nas
7. I Hate Everything About You by Three Days Grace
8. Driving Away by Holiday Parade [saw them in concert with FAMILY FORCE 5, All Time Low, and The Dangerous Summer]
9. Caring is Creepy by The Shins
[OMG LOVE THIS SONG!!! ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥ ♥]
10. Bees!!! by Snake Handshakes [The first 7 seconds sends shivers down my spine. AMAZING Drummer. I can't find it in any video so you'll have to find it on facebook or l!m3w!r3]

My top 3 album covers are:

1. Chutes Too Narrow by The Shins

2. Popularity by Jonezetta

3. Food & Liquor by Lupe Fiasco ♥

Mainstream Monday

2008-08-25T22:38:00.000-07:00

I gotta buckle down and do work son. That's all. Pretty mainstream huh?

Peace

P.S. I'm sick DAMMIT!!!! in the summer AND in the first week of school. My friend got me sick so I'm so pissed.

P.S.S. I got 2 crushes now.

P.S.S.S. Sike.

P.S.S.S.S. I'm so serious.

P.S.S.S.S.S. Actually 3.

Saintly Sunday

2008-08-24T21:12:00.000-07:00

I didn't go to church today. I feel bad. But I went to sleep at 5AM and woke up at 2PM so. . . I went to the library at 8PM and was done at 10PM but didn't get back to my dorm until now. which is bullshit because I called the escort service at 10PM and it took 2hours to get picked up. AND it wasn't even on mine and the 3 girls I was with's behalf. It took a cop calling in a telling them to get their bitch asses there. He said "they'll be there in 5 minutes" but they showed up 90 seconds after he called. I'm so sick of that shit. It's the third time in a row it's happened. I'm pissed so I'm gonna go eat my Thai noodles.

P.S. I found a guy I got a crush on. . . LMAO yea right.

P.S.S. I'm so serious right now.

Peace

Status Saturday

2008-08-23T18:11:00.000-07:00

Today I went the library and it was really productive. I went to a college night party. It was not as fun as I'd liked it to be, but maybe that was because the people I was with were self conscious and boring at times. whatever. It's 5AM and I just got back from playing pool and watching the USA BEAT spain in the olympics with some people. I wanna sleep.

Peace

Flippin Friday

2008-08-22T22:41:00.000-07:00

So all this drama and bullshit with my classes is worked out. I started to read Leo Africanus by Maalouf and I reallly like it.

So yesterday there was a huge amount of drama with getting back to my dorm. So I'll start from the beginning. . .
So me and some friends were going to go eat at a steakhouse [which by the way had amazing food] but we had to walk there. So we first walked like 5 blocks the wrong way, so we ended up having to walk 15 blocks the other way to get there. Needless to say we were hungry tired and pissed. So when we get there it's not like the steakhouse we imagined. It was a fucking bar with smoke EVERYWHERE and people who looked like they lived on the street corner. So we got our food, and let me say the waitress looked like a hooker and gave horrible service; like we had to call her over anytime we needed something which shouldn't happen, and finished eating. By then it was dark outside, and about 10:00. We aren't around any bus stops, so we call the security escort service which is supposed to run from 5PM to 7AM. The first time we call the service the operator first asks for the address of where we are, but then proceeds to tell us the service doesn't run until 2AM. So we ask "what are we supposed to do? wait here until 2AM?" and the operator says "I guess so." So then another person calls back and asks the same and the same response is given. So when I call I ask what we are supposed to do. By then we had begun to walk towards the campus. While walking back to the campus I was basically arguing with another operator about how we all were supposed to get home. Another girl who was alone asked if she could walk with our group just to be safe and we said it was fine if she wanted to. We then told her about what had been happening and she called the service and they told her that they were running. Another girl in the group's mom called as well and the same operator I had talked to told her that if we had said that we wanted to get picked up and taken to a bus station that would have been alright, but yet when I talked to her and asked her that she said the service didn't run until 2AM. So there we were walking in the at 10+ at night in a city that is not particularly safe. When we did get to a campus connector bus stop we waited 15 minutes for the bus that was supposed to run every 10 minutes and when the first bus got there the driver said that she wasn't going back to the part of the campus we live on and promptly changed her route as she pulled away from the stop. The next bus came 15 minutes later and instead of going straight back to the other campus, stopped in front of the student commons and stayed there for about 10 minutes and picked up 10 more people before leaving. By the time we got back to the campus it had been over an hour more than what it should have taken us.

Story over.
Enough ranting.

Peace

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-08-21T09:15:00.000-07:00

CLASSES STARTED TODAY AND IT WAS THE GREATEST THING ALMOST EVER!!!! Ok I will admit that I went overload on the caps lock but still. I've been waiting so long for this I will NOT mess it up. I a am GONNA get straight A's. No excuses.

So. . . Awkward.

I had Child Psych today, and I am about to go to Italian 102, and then World Texts. Italian I think will be fun, but World texts I dunno. It's for 2 hours and 40 minutes. Italian is 50 minutes, and Psych is an hour and 15 minutes. I think I'll be good for this semester because I like all of my classes and I'm very motivated.

Short. I know. Oh well.

Peace

Wild Wednesday

2008-08-20T13:53:00.000-07:00

Wednesday wasn't really wild. well at like 2AM it was . . . :) but I feel kinda bad because maybe it's PMS or whatever but I'm just annoyed with EVERYONE today.

Yea. I think it's PMS. Nevermind. But my classes start tomorrow at 9:30AM. . . YAY!! I can't wait. seriously though. I need some distraction and I need to learn something constructive AND SOON!!. Mes God, ah te proin pazoz!!! Yesterday we had a trip to Target so I bought almost all the food stuffs I needed to live sanely. Today I went to the book store and got 9 of the 15 books I need for school. But I don't have any of the books I need for Cultural Texts of the Mediterranean. I found them all on Amazon.com cheaper though.

I gotta wash my hair soon. . . OK enough bullshit.

Peace

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-08-20T01:21:00.000-07:00

No rant. it's 4:30AM where I am and got back from a party a little while ago so I'm tired.

My Tunes For Tuesday are:

1. The Frog Prince by Keane [♥]
2. At Your Best by Aaliyah Version 1/ Version 2
3. Make Up Smeared Eyes by Automatic Loveletter
4. The Permanent Rain by The Dangerous Summer
5. I Don't Wanna Know by New Found Glory
6. Australia by The Shins
7. Imagination by Jonezetta [absolute love] {sorry I couldn't find the album version of the song on YouTube, so you'll just have to deal with this live acoustic, note they aren't very good live. I saw them late last year :( }
8. The Way She Feels by Between the Trees
9. You're Not Alone By Saosin [kinda creepy but i still love them]
10. Songs Sound Much Sadder by Norma Jean [GREAT band live]

And my top 3 album covers are:

1. If You Could Only Keep Me Alive by The Dangerous Summer

2. On Letting Go by Circa Survive

3. I Care 4 U by Aaliyah [R.I.P]

Status Sunday

2008-08-17T16:53:00.000-07:00

Still no roommate and I am glad, actually. I have a very strong feeling that she isn't coming. But that's just my instinct not fact. I think I truly lucked out though. I took the bus today a couple time and met 2 people that are cool to chill with. I love it here. I'm eating a cazone now and I feel like a freshman fattie already. I have not much else to do, but it is only 7PM [I'm not supposed to go around alone at night and I would have to agree] so I'm just gonna watch Beauty and the Beast, Big Brother [online since I don't have a TV yet] and read. I want a soda SOO badly I may try and find a corner store soon. Dunno

Peace

Status Saturday

2008-08-16T20:50:00.000-07:00

I'm finally at college!! I'm glad to get away from all the chaos that ensued earlier with putting my shit away. I almost had a nervous breakdown because too many people were talking at the same time. All 4 of my grandparents, both my parents, and my 4 siblings were there, we drove 3 separate cars, and my stuff filled 2 of the cars.

My roommate was supposed to have moved in from 9AM to 2PM but she's still not here, nor have I gotten any message back from her on the website with the school email. No other information is provided about her; no phone number, address, alternate email, etc. She doesn't have a Facebook or a Myspace page either so. . . I hope I don't wake up at like 3AM to her moving her stuff in because that would suck to have to stay up through that. I also hope she's nice, not a thief, and a potential friend. All in due time I guess.

So for now when I was riding around with my family after eating at a nearby family member's house I saw all these people [not all freshman, but a large majority] walking around in groups of obviously awkward new acquaintances and I was all "alone" in stuffed in a car with my large amounts of family. I said goodbye to my mom a few minute ago and there's an eerie silence [seeing as how it's 12AM and we all have a busy day tomorrow]. I really do hope my roomie shows up so I can have someone to roll with for at least the time being. But I at least know some places to eat so I can suffice.

Finally being away is the strangest feeling, especially after looking back at pictures from my childhood and when I was a baby. I distinctly remember back then seeing college people and thinking that I would never get there, being so young. Now I'm one of those people.

Totally Weird.

Peace

Freaky Friday [with extra baggage]

2008-08-15T16:35:00.000-07:00

This Friday is actually freaky. I'm having major stressful mood swings because I move out tomorrow. I'll be happy and cheerful about it one moment, and then the next I'll be sad and scared. I mean what if no one likes me? what if I don't make any friends and end up eating alone? what if I hate my roommate? what if I don't like my classes or my major? what if I get mugged? that list goes on. I think I'll be fine.

All my stuff is packed and in the middle of the house and now I'm just getting the last things that I want to take with me together and putting my stuff I'm leaving home in boxes. It's the weirdest feeling because I never thought this day would come. You see I HATED middle and high school, so when people would say "high school will go by so fast then you'll be in college, and then you'll be in the real world wishing you were back in high school" I would say "not a chance in heaven and hell! I hated high school it was four years and felt like five and there is a very small margin of cash you could pay me to go back." so I really hope that I love college.

I got a new phone today. It's a Glyde and I really like it.

Yesterday night at dinner for one of my friend's birthday we played laser tag with some other competitive black people [my team lost by like 2000 pts] we went to my house to have what my mom called 'a Michael Phelps party'. Anyways at dinner our waiter was kinda cute in a nerdy way, so one of my friends left her number but no name so what me and another person did was wrote her name on the paper and that he better call her or else. He didn't call her but he texted her some nice things that did not coincide well with the fact that he also informed her [us] that he has a girlfriend. I just thought that was funny.

OK enough of my ramblings
Stop reading this and go watch the Olympics [AKA track 4 now!!!]

Peace

Tearful Thursday

2008-08-14T20:46:00.000-07:00

Today was the birthday celebration for a friend of mine. She turns 17 on Saturday. And this marks basically the last time I 'll see my friends for like 5 months. I'm sad I guess but I do really want to meet new people and get away from home. I don't think I'll get homesick. I never have so it's not very likely. We went to eat, played laser tag, and then went to my house to watch Michael Phelps swim because he represents for the B-more/ DC, MD area. I still can't wait until track starts. And those bastards better show the whole damn thing!!! [I'm a track star, point getting medal winning, athlete jussoyukno].

I didn't cry when I said goodbye a couple hours ago tho. I can proudly say that. But I really will miss being around them. They make me laugh a lot. OK enough of my whinging.

Peace!!

W w w Wednesday

2008-08-13T22:49:00.000-07:00

Every day of the week I keep thinking that when that day of the week comes again I will be at college!!! It seems so much more real now. Since I am leaving in 2 days. I just ordered my phone and it will be a Glyde! I just recently found out that I can go on the internet for free on the weekends. I'm SOO pissed I didn't know this earlier or I would be blowing up the internet on a daily basis. . . I also got more money and I bank account; so I have to start buying books now/soon. I think I'm gonna do well at college.

I really hope and pray that I will like my roommate though, because I still haven't talked to her. In case you haven't read I've gone through 2 roommate already. But it's not like I had anything to do with their decisions.

I saw Tropic Thunder today and I have to say that it was VERY funny. Though it did have a lot of parts that were unnecessarily gross, and it had WAY too much cursing for my liking. They threw around curse words to the point when you think "is it really necessary to at a 'fuck or shit' between every word you say?"

I found a website to buy books cheaper called 'half.com' and the website is run with Ebay where you can sell and buy textbooks, usually for school, cheaply.

Not much more to say

Peace

P.S. WATCH THE OLYMPICS! They're pretty awesome.

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-08-12T22:05:00.000-07:00

OK so I've been obsessed lately with watching the Olympics [specifically men's swimming... yum]. It's so strange this year. I don't know why. Anyways. . . TUNES FOR TUESDAY has finally come back around. I'm glad. Tunes for Tuesday is my favorite day of the week besides Friday. And the next time Tuesday comes around I'll be at COLLEGE!!!!! I limit myself to 5 exclamation points. So as not to get too excited this early.

My Tunes for Tuesday are:

1. Somewhere Only We Know by Keane UK and US [classic amazingness ♥]
2. Rock the Boat by Aaliyah
3. Just For Now by Imogen Heap
4. Kick, Push by Lupe Fiasco
5. Keep the Car Running by Arcade Fire
6. A Letter to Elise by The Cure
7. Graduate by Third Eye Blind
8. Over My Head by Fleetwood Mac
9. Plays Pretty for Baby by Saosin
10. Seconds of Pleasure by Van Hunt [From the movie "Something New"]

And my top 3 album covers are:

1. Come Close by Saosin

2. Esperanza Spalding by Esperanza Spalding

3. WAO!! by Oreskaband

Miseducated Monday

2008-08-11T22:56:00.000-07:00

I know 'miseducated' isn't a word but I don't care it fits. So I watched the documentary "Jesus Camp" today on You Tube and let me just say it was so messed up it's not even funny. So I'm going to go through each part and add my commentary. I advise everyone reading to watch it for yourself because it is VERY eye opening. I know I'm a bit late with this one but it's whatever.

Jesus Camp

Part 1

The man speaking on the radio is an amazing voice of reason in my eyes. I think it may be in part the fact that I am EXTREMELY liberal. His views on Christianity is in many respects level with mine. I do believe it is insane to say a man who starts and continues to unjustly support a WAR is anointed. People throw the word 'anointed' around way too freely. The 'pastor' woman Becky Fischer is truly trying to brainwashing the children. I think these people are phony Christians, and the 'leaders' of this movement are projecting their own opinions on wat they teach. The clearly overweight again I say 'pastor' has the nerve to call OTHER Christians "fat and lazy". I do agree with her message that children have to change the world, but not at all in her sense of waging war on those that oppose her. She is teaching the children to be judgmental towards people who are different and teaching them to not have their own opinion on anything. As a baptist, speaking in tongues comes when you have been through the trials and tribulations that God puts in your way in order to show you that he exists, and it comes after you have been baptized and understand more about being a Christian. I don't believe you can be told to speak in tongues, as those children were. It should just come when the Holy Spirit presents itself. That 'pastor' woman is sick.

Part 2

Children are "usable in Christianity"? That statement makes her seem to me like a predator. Her message to children is just as bad as those in where she speaks of where they are teaching their children how to fight, kill, and give their lives for the cause of Islam. I don't see the purpose of making children as radical as those in the Middle East and in Africa. As much as she is saying that what's going on in Palestine "will shake you to your foundation" it isn't much different than the young people who are from the USA who are yielding guns at young ages, going over to Iraq with the intent to kill, hating people because of their beliefs, and fearing or judging people because of how they look. And then she goes on to say that Mr. Bush [I don't feel comfortable calling that man my President, sorry] has brought credibility to Christians. What insanity. As this part continues Fischer talks to 2 boys and one says that at the age of 5 he was saved because he "wanted more of life". Now let's be realistic. At 5 what more can you get out of life than eating, sleeping, pooing, and playing? The same boy is being taught as well that, get this, GLOBAL WARMING IS NOT REAL!!!!!! And that a temperature rise of according to them "0.6 degrees" is not enough to affect anything. Yet our icecaps are melting, our weather is changing, and our animals are slowly dying out whether it be climate change causing chain reactions that diminish their numbers. Also the same boy is being taught that creationism instead of evolution should be taught and anywhere that evolution is taught is sketchy and should be avoided. Judgmental much? And if it couldn't get any worse [it does] they discourage science. [At this point I couldn't really take it anymore, but I had to finish watching the movie].

Part 3

I really don't like how forced these kids are to be Christians. Like one girl wants to grow up to be a nail technition. And the only reason she wants to do that is to be able to try to convert people to Evangelical Christianity in a calm environment. What kind of ambition is that? For those watching this part now, did I just see an Israeli flag? Sorry to go off subject, but the music played during the parts where they reveal background information is really relaxing, and I like it. Lmao. OK anyways. . .

Part 4

Her props are stuffed animals in teaching children about evil? Come on. My little brother has that lion stuffed animal. Does that make him evil? He's 9. Now on to that bitch insulting Harry Potter. Had Harry Potter actually been real, and alive today he would have put HER bitch ass to death. Sorry. But yo was getting TOO overboard with that mess. HP is a completely fictional character in a book and a movie. And he's not a damn warlock. He's a WIZARD duh. Trick has the nerve to talk about putting people to death around children. Oh hell no. See that kind of stuff gets me REALLY pissed because I 'm going to school to be a therapist for [I will choose either couples or children to adolescents] people with problems, and she is putting problems in these kids heads that I may end up being responsible to fix. So I am definitely not happy with that. So anyways . . . she wants so called 'fakers and phonies' to be washed with God's water of Nestle? Goodness gracious that bitch screaming oooooooooooooooo is fucking with my speakers. That Fischer woman is out of her mind. Presenting to CHILDREN that sin is death. It obviously isn't because I sin every day just like any living and breathing person on this earth, and yet I'm not dead yet. Anyways. . .

Part 5

I don't feel like talking about this anymore because it pisses me off, so I'm just going to post the link to the rest of these and call it a night. My last point is. . . PRO-CHOICE!!!!!!.
Part 6
Part 7
Part 8
Part 9

Status Saturday

2008-08-09T23:14:00.000-07:00

Stone Soul Picnic was amazing, and I will definitely go again next year if I can. I was able to see Jazmine Sullivan, Solange Knowles, Jeff Majors, Marvin Sapp, James Fortune, East of the River Steel Band, and a little bit of Whodini. I had a alot of fun. The only 2 problems were food-wise I wasn't prepared to stay the day, and I didn't bring any chairs or blankets [I went with 2 other people]. I heard that Jennifer Hudson was going to be there, but we left too early to see her :(. I was devastated. I mean it's JHUD!!!

But it's whatever now. I have so many books that are on my list to read, but all I do is stay in the house/room and eff around on my computer. I gotta get out. . . I will soon enough. I leave in 6 days!!! " Oh how time flies" said by Groove Theory.

I can't stop listening to "In Love With Another Man" by Jazmine Sullivan. It's a bad addiction, but I love the pain and emotion she depicts with the song. Especially in the live taping of her singing it. I am thinking of writing a short story or play around the song. It wouldn't be that hard because I already have many ideas of how to lead into the song which I hope to have set in the middle as the climax, or at the end as the finale. I gotta think about it.

I have been recently re-watching the short-lived series called Firefly. The show is AMAZING, and I've been a fan ever since they released the film's "conclusion" as Serenity. I loved both except that both Shepard and Wash died. That was a serious problem. It's so cliche that someone dies in action movies like that. W/E. I wish they would reprise the series and continue from where the SERIES left off, not the movie. But the series was cancelled back in 2002 and the movie was released in 2005. That's a good little while ago.

Dammit. I'm a cult fan :D
Until next time
Peace.

Freakin Friday

2008-08-08T18:57:00.000-07:00

I promised videos a little while ago. Sorry. It's not gonna happen for a little while. I got a lot on my plate with the whole packing thing. But anyways. . . It's FREAKIN Friday!! And guess what tomorrow is?!?!? STONE SOUL PICNIC!!!!! Here's a link to a sponsor hosting it with details. It is going to be another one of the best days of the summer. It starts at Noon and ends at 8pm. With a whole bunch of other fun stuff to do too!! And one of my newfound favorite singers EVER Jazmine Sullivan is going to be there!!! I can't put enough exclamation points in this blog. So I'll just say for those of you in the D.C., Maryland, Virginia area GOOO!!!!! And even if you aren't close by still go. Not much else to say, but I'll have word tomorrow after the event. I;m gonna be singing along like the whole time. Yet again, I can't wait.

Peace!

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-08-07T13:26:00.000-07:00

So my thoughts for today are somewhat sad because I leave for school in 9 days!! I can't wait until then, but I am very nervous about being on my 'own'. Oh, well I'll get used to it. Yet again yesterday we had another jam session, but I was actually recorded singing a part of " A Day in Your Life" by Chrissette Michelle. I sang the part when she belts out really high and loud "Mama said touch the sky with your hands, and to fly on the wings of the Lord etc." I think I did OK but I gotta work on my voice more. I could be SO much better. I wrote the first half of a song with no name yet yesterday. I was just angry for some reason and I think it turned out really well. I have the piano chords for it so far, and the way it will be sung.

"The Song With No Name"

Remove yourself from this place
Spin the reflection you hold so dear
and erase the mirror
Keep your spirit at ease
and bear the hardships down

Just Keep
[Keep yourself happy]
Just Stay
[Just stay bright]

Now that you are gone
Things should be better
I can see you clearly
You are beautiful
and don't let anyone
tell you otherwise.

Just Keep
[Keep yourself happy]
Just Stay
[Just stay bright]

End

When I sing this I'm going to have to put a lot of riffs and vibrato in this to lengthen it, and also to add to the emotion exhumed through the words. So I got a lot of work to do in that respect.

Peace

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-08-05T12:03:00.000-07:00

I did more singing today so I may have a video of that to put up in a minute. [Meaning sometime in the next week.] But I'm getting better by listening to Jazmine Sullivan, Ella Fitzgerald, Kim Burrell, Chrissette Michelle, and Lauryn Hill. I also watched The Wiz with Diana Ross, Michael Jackson [when he was still blackish], and Lena Horne, that helped too. So anyways my Tunes for Tuesday are as follows:

1. You've Made Us Conscious by The Audition
2. Stay by Small Sins
3. Best Of Me by Chrissette Michelle
4. A Day in Your Life by Chrissette Michelle [This isn't Chrissette, but she sound good as well.]
5. Need You Bad by Jazmine Sullivan
6. I'm Not Gonna Teach Your Boyfriend How To Dance by Black Kids
7. Chori Chori Hum Gori Se by Udit Narayan [I added humor yay]
8. Hounds of Love by Kate Bush
9. Hit the Heartbrakes by Black Kids
10. In Love With Another Man by Jazmine Sullivan

And my top 3 album covers are:

1.The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill

2. Does It Offend You, Yeah? by Does It Offend You, Yeah?

3. Citrus by Asobi Seksu

Enjoy!

Musical Monday

2008-08-04T21:47:00.000-07:00

We laid down some tracks... as in I sang 1 song and every1 else did like nothing. lol
but i may load the song i sang and put it up for Tunes for Tuesday. but this is some of the shenanigans that transpired today.
You should be able to see the mic in the back.
I didn't take this pic, but I like it anyways.

Super Sunday

2008-08-03T16:59:00.000-07:00

Today I went to church like a non-heathen :). I was late, but I was still there.

Anyways, today I went to Harper's Ferry in West Virginia. I should post for Where? on Wednesday, but I probably wont have a chance to because I have to pack for school!! I leave in 13 days!!! I'm SOOO excited to leave home. I'm not the homesick type, so I might just leave and not come home until I graduate.

These are some pictures I took today: [The picture arrangement looks like shit so bear with me please]

Status Saturday

2008-08-02T18:14:00.001-07:00

I just wrote a poem.

"The sun shines in clicks and bangs"

Mes soleil non piu lite.
My sun no longer shines.
Stacked pillows and blankets
cover my view of the outside
my view of the frozen.
As much as they lie to themselves
they are broken and no longer reflectable.
That is in the mirror of self righteousness.

Now you may ask
why suns don't shine anymore?

Because they aren't given the chance.
They have to fight to be bright.

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-08-01T00:26:00.000-07:00

Today I wanted to talk about "radioactive" people. I coin the term "radioactive" as a nicer way to say someone is desperate. I figure that's a good analogy because being desperate radiates from you in your actions and speech. A friend of mine asked me if she seemed desperate, and in order to be a good friend I had to tell her nicely that she wasn't necessarily desperate, but more "radioactive".

When you are radioactive you ooze clingy and neediness. That's what makes you radioactive. In order to avoid being radioactive one has to:

1. Forget all ambitions of "I absolutely HAVE to find that perfect partner".
2.Any lists comprised complaining [no not listing COMPLAINING] of those perfect attributes one seeks in a partner need to be erased as well. Those lists force one to unconsciously be actively searching for the qualities on the "my perfect mate" list.
3.And finally, to avoid being radioactive BE YOURSELF. Because trust me. Somebody somewhere loves you, and if not, there's always someone who has the potential to. You just have to be open enough to accept them as they would accept you.

That's my word for the day I guess. DON'T BE RADIOACTIVE

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-07-30T00:25:00.000-07:00

Ok so I have been at the beach for a while, so I haven't blogged. I was just too beachy. But while I was there they had a lifeguard competition between the lifeguards from various beaches around the area. The beach I got to didn't win, but we got second!! So anyways the only reason I watched was because this concentrated section of the beach was overflowing with HOTTT SEXXXY tan men. They all were white, but who gives a damn?!? [Although I do kind of like Diversity.] I've been YouTubing an Australian show called Rove that is hilarious. Anyways on to tunes for tuesday.

So here's my list of tunes for Tuesday that I've been listening to alot.

1. Aqueous Transmission by Incubus
2. Hurricane Jane by Black Kids
3. Epic Last Song by Does It Offend You, Yeah?
4. On Verge of Something Wonderful by Darren Hayes
5. Emotions by Destiny's Child
6. Love Will Tear Us Apart by Joy Division
7. Sexy Ladies by Justin Timberlake
8. Prototype by Outkast
9. Banquet by Bloc Party
10. Superconnected by Broken Social Scene

And my top 3 album covers are:

1. Black Kids - The Wizard of Ahhs

2. Family Force 5 - Dance or Die

3. Santogold - I Believe in Santogold

P.S- I'll post more shit that I've written. Soon.

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-07-24T20:30:00.000-07:00

I was browsing YouTube in my lackadaisical pre-academic stupor and I came across this song performed by Sean Foreman of the amazing upbeat band known as 3OH!3 and Marques Toliver a stunning violinist. After seeing Foreman at Warped Tour screaming out lyrics to songs like "Holler Til' You Pass Out" and "Chokechain" and busting out break dancing moves with bandmate Nat Motte I was suprised to see a sentimental or serious side to Foreman. So cute... and Nat too! I don't know what the song is called, but the video title is "Sean Foreman of and Michelle Michelle of 30h3!".

I have named it "Broken Stone" for the hell of it and here are the lyrics.

“Broken Stone”

There must be something in the wind

on that day

sang to them

in their graves

and you were screaming so loud

I added to that voice

and sang so proud

and we're counting crows

I'll take these hands down

remove the cemetery

to pick up the things you said you hear

in this town

these throws

kept close and so can I

no, I never found out what you did

and you were lying in the sand

you took my hand

into yours

and made it sand

and I won't ever let you go

after all this time

I made a plan that we all die

our hands, darling

pick up the cemetery

to find up the things you said you hear

see this town, these kids

wont never let you go, ever

with the things they say

I'll take this broken stone

around my neck

and I'll cast it

into the deepest part

of the Atlantis

and you were screaming for the crowd

on that day

say goodbye to him

before he braved

the cold and the darkest night

that he'll ever find

lost in dawn

it's alright

my friend you're gone

I'm not afraid to take your hand

and walk on through

it's this place as this close

and the department store is locked

but we'll find out where to go

oh I'll take this broken stone

around my neck

and I'll cast it

into the deepest part

of the Atlantis

this stone around my neck

and I'll cast it

into the deepest part

of the Atlantis

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-07-22T22:47:00.000-07:00

I have a list of tunes for Tuesday that I've been listening to alot.

1. Dance or Die by Family Force 5 ♥
2. Sleep by Azure Ray
3. Dark Blue by Jack's Mannequin
4. The Best Thing by Relient K
5. The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill
6. I'm Mikey by The Cool Kids ♥
7. The Sun Ain't Gonna Shine Anymore by Keane
8. Goodbye by Asobi Seksu ♥
9. Island (Float Away) by The Starting Line
10. Shake It by Metro Station

And my top 3 album covers are:

1. Relient K - Apathetic EP

2. The Starting Line - Direction

3. Alicia Keys - As I Am

P.S. Ah asolut penq tutto dase cantach. Pronon odio su mes tast, Grasoo.

Musical Monday

2008-07-21T23:42:00.001-07:00

I made music today! I don't like to sing in front of people, even though I sound pretty damn good. So I just played the bongo.

Saintly Sundays

2008-07-20T20:36:00.001-07:00

I went to church today after getting literally 2 hours of sleep. NO JOKE. I went to sleep at like 5 and had to get up at 7 and needless to say I was not pleased. AT ALL. I think I'll still go to church in college, but I want to go to a less demanding church. I know that sounds heathenish [so not a word] but I want to be able to wake up later and still have curch be the same length. Cause if I were to go to the later service at my church it would be 10:30 to 1:00. NOT HAPPENING. Why can't I compromise?!?!?

Status Saturday

2008-07-19T22:49:00.000-07:00

So alot of shit has gone down since I last blogged. It's been around a week. I went to orientation, loved it, met nice people, and chose my classes. I'm taking Italian, Child Psych, Sociology, English and Cultural Text. I cannot fucking wait until I start doing shit again.

I also went to Warped tour, which was AMAZING. Although I didn't see all the bands I wanted to [in order to do that you have to go alone and all for one one for all] I got to see most of them so it's all good. Here's some pics I took:

The Higher

Matt Thiessen of Relient K ♥

The Color Fred

Sean Foreman of 3OH!3 ♥

Soul Glow Activator from Family Force 5 ♥

I was able to see The Higher, Relient K ♥, Oreskaband, 3OH!3, Family Force 5 ♥, Jack's Mannequin, The Color Fred, and Shwayze. In addition to those bands I wanted to see Angels & Airwaves, The Academy Is. . . , The Audition, Between the Trees, Anberlin, From First To Last, Cobra Starship, Say Anything, Forever the Sickest Kids, A Cursive Memory, and Gym Class Heroes. But I had SO much fun so it's all good. I can't wait till next year when I'll be legal so I can party with the ppls after the last band is finished performing.

So lately I've been looking for a job, but with the state of the economy it is gonna be a challenge to find work, which it has been. But once I get a job I can relax more with my money situation when I go to school. Also my parents will get me a new phone. I'm trying to decide between:

Blackberry Curve

Glyde ♥

Blackberry Pearl

Alias

Dare ♥

That's it for my status update I guess. More about how 'saintly' I am tomorrow.

Peace

Status Saturday

2008-07-12T19:55:00.001-07:00

Bored. Want to start school already.

Freaky Friday

2008-07-11T23:02:00.000-07:00

I was just chillin with my peeps after a boring ass vacation. What IS freaky though is that I went back to see my high school with the 2 peeps with whom I was chillin, and I got the weird flash of nostalgia remembering the ... 'fun' I had in high school. F it. I flippin hated high school and I never want to go back again. some people say 'high school is the best time of your life and it will go buy so fast, and soon you'll want to be back in high school.

1. That shizz DID NOT go by fast enough. The whole time it felt like it would never end. Of course looking back it may seem like it went by fast. That's only because, of the things one remembers, the bulk of the boring ass time spent doing pointless things or the hours watching the clock waiting for the day to end, all that time put into those craptastic tasks is not remembered.
2. I never want to set foot in a high school AGAIN. It doesn't matter where the flip the school is. They all bring back mostly bad memoried. The one and only reason I will set foot in that hell hole again is to get my medal from states from my coach, and to say hello to my favorite teacher EVER [she's the one who was able to bring me to Italy this spring, BEST TIME OF MY LIFE {I want to go back and live there} and I love her to death].

So there's my immensely condensed version of my I HATE HIGH SCHOOL speech. Thank you for listening. lol

Where? On Wednesdays

2008-07-09T20:13:00.000-07:00

Where.... HOME!!! I go home tomorrow so I can finally make some money and be productive. I have orientation next week, AND WARPED TOUR!!! For those of you who don't know what WARPED TOUR is, It is an amazingly spectacular day full of concerts. There are a long list of artists preparing to rock it out on one of the many stages presenting rockable mosh pits, fierce dancing circles and the kind of sweat that'll keep you moist for days. Of the various big name concerts like Bamboozle, or Virgin Fest I am a faithful lover of the the paradox that is WARPED TOUR!!!!

So where will I be next wednesday? Sweating til my body glistens, screaming my vocal cords to mute, and dancing the night away. You should go when it hits near your town.

Tunes for Tuesday

2008-07-08T17:35:00.000-07:00

I have a list of tunes for Tuesday that I've been listening to alot.

1. Rocky Took a Lover by Bell X1 ♥
2. Pogo by Digitalism
3. Do the Panic by Phantom Planet
4. Holler Til You Pass Out by 3OH!3
5. Yeah You by N.E.R.D.
6. Never Gonna Give You Up by Rick Astley
7. I Keep by Jill Scott
8. The Way I Feel Inside by The Zombies♥
9. Shove it by Santogold♥
10. Bamboo Banga by M.I.A.

And my top 3 album covers are:
1. Bell X1- Flock

2. M.I.A.- Kala

3. Fleet Foxes- Ragged Wood

Mainstream Monday

2008-07-07T17:45:00.000-07:00

Today I updated my Zune software. YAY!!! No offense to iPODs... I just don't like them. What about you? I've never had one and I don't want one. I like the format and style of the Zune better than the iPOD. I also like the size of the screen and the video quality. I have the brown 30GB one. But when I have filled up all the space in the one I have now [I've already used 19GB and I got it in November] I'm gonna get a black 80GB one with a design and my name on the black. But I have A TON of saving to do before that can happen, because I need a new phone [I really like the Glyde for some reason] that'll cost at least $100. Then the Zune I want adds $270 to that, and THEN I have to have money for college. Why the hell are jobs so hard to come across these days? I've applied to SO MANY PLACES, but they all have horrible hours, or some other scheduling constraint. By that I mean they have very little hours for me to work.

I bad feeling bad, and by bad I mean guilty because when I was at home all I did was absolutely nothing and now on vacation I'm doing the same. And by nothing I mean staying inside all day, being the night-crawler I am and going to sleep at like 4AM for no reason, and waking up at 12. That may be the ideal summer for many but lately I've been feeling too bored with my life. And for once I want to do something with my summer. I want to graduate early so I think I'm gonna try and get credits over the next summers. Wow. Easy solution to my problem.

This may sound stupid, but I have my life practically planned out. I know that most likely my plan's not gonna play out the way I want it to but whatever. I want to graduate early [I'll be 20 if that happens] and get my masters in psychology and english by the time i'm 25. I also want to have published my book by then, and be married by the time I'm 27. In between this time I hope to record an album I've written [I write songs, some of which I will post soon], and try my hand at acting of some sort. And I want to have all my kids by the time I'm 30. Because for my 30th birthday I'm getting my tubes tied. I want 2 at most 4 kids and one of them will be adopted. By the time I'm 35 I want to have started my own private practice, and published 2 books. I also by then want to have tried my hand at writing for a movie or a TV show. I want to retire by 60.

It's alot of shit, I know. I may not be organized [cuz I'm a serious mess] but I if things go my way...
I was just thinking. What the hell does what I just said have to do with being mainstream?

Saintly Sunday

2008-07-06T18:18:00.001-07:00

I didn't go to church today... so yea.

Status Saturday

2008-07-05T20:42:00.000-07:00

I saw Wanted today, and I have to say I thought it was REALLY good. I love when Morgan Freeman says "shoot that mothafucka!" even though to say m-effer is not nice. LMAO. And I was watching Pushing Daisies on ABC.com. Can I say Lee Pace is flipping HOT! He reminds me of someone I know.

So back to status... BORED AS HELL. GIMMEEE SOMETHING TO DO!!!

I can't wait until I start school. I need nice/cool people to talk to, and work to do. I need change.

Freaky Friday

2008-07-04T17:29:00.001-07:00

Lemme think... I really don't have anything freaky to talk about. So I'll just wish everyone happy 4th of July.

OK nevermind. I was thinking about how we [in America] as a society idolize abnormality. Not positive abnormality, I mean like the celebrities who have family troubles, or drug problems, etc. I don't see the purpose of making fun, or putting on blast these people who are seriously f-ed up. Like with Britney Spears's breakdown period. People were constantly talking about her then and how she had 'drug problems' or how she was 'insane'. But realistically if any chick off the street was doing the stuff she did she would be locked the F up. AND she would lose all custody and visitation of her kids.

I mean come on let's be serious her 'celebrity status' saved her life. I have a feeling that the future of that whole family is not going to be too bright. And that's only coming from speculation according to the facts put out there. So back to idolizing abnormality, I think it is SICK and DISGUSTING to do that to people who really need help. When it comes to how to treat others I believe that you should treat other people with the respect you would give a family member.

Would you embarrass your brother or sister? If you would then that's sad.

Thoughts for Thursday

2008-07-03T23:25:00.000-07:00

Realistically it's Friday, but technically for me it's Thursday. I'm a night crawler what can I say? Anyways my thoughts for Thursday... Well I'm in Delaware at the beach with my family for the $th of July celebrations. I have to admit I'm mildly depressed because from my point of view the bond my relatives worked so hard to create is dissolving. Much like a friend who you were inseparable with until you got older and realized they weren't as special as you made them out to be. All my years growing up I was a sheltered and admittedly privileged kid, so when I "grew up"-I consider leaving home for chunks of the year 'growing up'- and prepare to depart for college [YAY!!] I am discovering the well kept secrets my family worked to hide from us 'children' to keep as many people as possible happy. Great fun huh?

Anyways no more tangents. Being in DE again reminded me of an incident that made me think. Basically my mother was jogging in the morning and was called the N word by some white guys passing in a car. When she told me this my initial reaction was 'HEADS WILL ROLL WHO WERE THOSE M-Fers?!?!? WHAT DID THE CAR LOOK LIKE?' After I had calmed down I was thinking about how the N word in the black community was supposed to have been buried and never to be used- or at least as infrequently as possible- among other black people. And I began thinking why should a word that is rarely spoken in a negative connotation within the community in which it is used be essentially banned? I understand the controversy because of the offense taken when people who are not of African descent use the word, but I see the use of the N word in the black community as a way of taking some thing the 'white man' tried to use to degrade us and making it 'acceptable' in our own community. I do agree the banning of the N word though, don't get me wrong. because I am tired of hearing rappers and sometimes R&B artists talking about their bitches hos and n*ggas making an impression on the world that most if not all black people are ignorant, but I question the banning as well because when I would use the word in the past, or if i were to say it now it would be referring to someone as one would say he, she, or it.

I guess my point is how effective can the banning of the word be if there are MANY people out there who still think of me as a black women a n*gger, or and asian as a ch*nk, or a latino as a sp*c etc.?

Where? On Wednesdays

2008-07-02T14:31:00.000-07:00

Today is the day after I got back from FloRida, so WHERE for today? Florida. There's tons to do in that 90+ degree peninsula. I for one was at Disney, and desired to go to Universal Studios but was unable to due to time constraints. I have noticed that Disney has become VERY disorganized. On no less than 3 occasions during the 6 days I was there my family and I had to wait over 30 minutes for the bus we needed to take to come around. On the 5th day we were there we waited over an hour for a bus and right when the correct bus came the staff decided to inform the groups at the bus stop that they had labeled most of their destinations incorrectly. Also, when in line for certain rides, there would be no attendants present to give instructions of where to go and what to do, so myself and a few others were almost struck by doors that swung automatically. I as well noticed that the much of the staff they have employed is very impatient and borderline rude when it is an environment made for children who deserve if not demand much patience. Other than the above and a few other negatives, the experience was enjoyable and I would definitely go again.

2008-07-02T14:19:00.000-07:00

I just got back from Disney World in Flo Rida and now I'm sipping peach cider from South Carolina out of a Pluto mug reading WOOF! At first I was reluctant to go on vacation with my fam because of the way the relationship between me and my family members was going. It was constant arguing, and still after my spaceship has landed back on earth the vibe is the same riddled with too much arguing, and not enough personal space.

From now on I'm gonna start this:

Mainstream Mondays

Tunes for Tuesdays

Where? On Wednesdays

Thoughts for Thursdays

Freaky Fridays

Status Saturdays

Saintly Sundays

Tempo, Verita, e Cuore [Part 1]

2008-06-18T17:19:00.000-07:00

This is the beginning of something [dunno what] in my head that I thought would be cool to type out. I think it came from a dream or something. Whatev. I hope you like it.

Enn hated planes. Her mother had always told her that when she was young she would scream her cords raw in response to her ears popping. She would have to go on a plane. 4 times within less that 2 weeks. She was far from prepared to face her fear of flying. Not even once. But like they say with pleasure comes pain, and to get to where she wanted to be Enn would have to woman up.

She HAD to get away from "home" and life in general. As if it really could be called that. Enn knew that once she crossed that invisible border into a fleeting glimpse of freedom life for those glorious 10 days would be lived in a daze like a dream that she wished could last forever. Those 10 days, 240 hours, 14400 minutes, 864000 seconds would give her a high she would cherish and protect that she would never experience in the same way and could never be taken away.

She dreamed of being stress free full of naked happiness. None of the painted, feigned, airbrushed happiness she displayed in order to be left alone. Enn dreamed of the fairytale style romance she hoped to encounter in her endeavors and carry with her towards the white picket fence on the top of her mountain of future possibilities. This love coupled with the freedom she dreamscaped of occupied every waking moment of her thoughts. These clouds in the endless sky that was her mind kept her sane and her anger in control.

A Sigh of Relief

2008-06-06T00:45:00.000-07:00

Now that the awkward first blogggyness is over with I want to post the beginning of my first typed short story. I'm sort of a dreamer type... understatement, so all the stuff that's in my head that I see as a bunch of crap is quite interesting I've been told after consulting people near me. So I call this one short story.

Short Story

She awoke in a frenzied daze, coupled with the frightening inability to remember what had happened to her in the last 2 days. Through blurred vision she began to search for the smallest whiff of sensation. The only thing she could recall was the worst feeling to have fortify itself. Regret. She didn't remember what she said or what she did to ruin life as she had known it, but she had no choice other than to move on. Her motto had always been 'live for the future'. She quickly surveyed her dim surroundings to assure that she was in no danger. It was a small obviously family owned bar with no more than 7 people scattered in the limited space. The walls were littered with ancient graffiti speaking in great volume the tones exhumed by troubled souls. After regaining her sight she had lost her feelings of discomfort and was enamored in the forceful beauty the venue exploded with.
Then she saw him. And yet again, to her displeasure, her future was an abysmal void.

Why Hello!

2008-06-06T00:42:00.000-07:00

This is my first blog. Such a cliche statement, yes, but what else can I say huh?